3 libras

i am wondering today why people say things that they apparently don't mean as illustrated by the actions following what they say.

got it?

3 Libras
by A Perfect Circle

Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all

one bourbon, one scotch, one beer

isn't it so inappropriate that the people in life that should have no effect on us at all are the one's that inevitably get under our skin? i feel like i'm in freakin' high school again.

one bourbon, one scotch, one beer
by George Thorogood And The Destroyers

Wanna tell you a story,
about the house-rent blues
I come home one Friday,
had to tell the landlady I'd done lost my job
She said that don't comfort me,
long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn't get the rent,
and out the door I went

So I goes to the landlady,
I said, "You let me slide?"
I'll have the rent for you tomorrow.
the next day I don't know
So said let me slide it on you know people,
I notice when I come home in the evening
She ain't got nothing nice to say to me,
but for five year she was so nice
Loh' she was lovy-dovy,
I come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?",
I said, "No, can't find no job"
Therefore I ain't got no money to pay the rent
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to find no job"
Said "I seen you today you was standin' on a corner,
leaning up against a post"
I said "But I'm tired, I've been walkin' all day"
She said "That don't confront me,
long as I get my money next Friday"
Now next Friday come I didn't have the rent,
and out the door I went

So I go down the streets,
down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Uh, Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go in my room, pack up my things and I go,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
She a-hollerin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any back rent,
she ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But I'm sitting now at the bar,
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer
Looked down the bar, here come the bartender
I said "Look man, come down here"
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough,
need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk won't you listen right here,
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time I'm plenty high,
you know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
gotta get drunk man so I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
one drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

take it easy

today i was thinking about who i am. and just think of that question... "who am i?"

i bet you can think of a good answer in your gut, but it's not really something that can be verbalized. but perhaps it can be expressed to the world by some notion(s).

and then there are times that we even forget who we are exactly, and we look to other people or things to define it. but really who you ARE exists only in your spirit. and that is really something... that is if your ever reflect on what your 'spirit' is.

it makes me think of bill and ted's excellent adventure when they try to go to heaven and have to determine the meaning of life... and then they proceed to sing "every rose has it's thorn" by poison. it's probably one of the dumbest movies i've ever seen but it makes me think that the only real meaning in life is knowing your own goodness and being honest enough to share it with the world in some way... wether it be through music, or fighting crime, or letting someone butt in front of you in line. it's when you are able to let go of your feelings about how we are taught that things SHOULD be, and simply (co)exist.

Take it Easy
by the Eagles

Well, i'm running down the road
Tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on
My mind,
Four that wanna own me,
Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine

Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels
Drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
And take it easy

Well, i'm a standing on a corner
In winslow, arizona
And such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin' down to take a look at me

Come on, baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
Gonna save me

We may lose and we may win though
We will never be here again
So open up, i'm climbin' in,
So take it easy

Well i'm running down the road trying to loosen
My load, got a world of trouble on my mind
Lookin' for a lover who won't blow my
Cover, she's so hard to find

Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own
Wheels make you crazy

Come on baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
Gonna save me, oh oh oh
Oh we got it easy
We oughta take it easy

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shadowboxer

sometimes... i just feel like breaking beer bottles.

i've never done that before btw.

i feel like people wouldn't be surprised if i did one day...



shadowboxer
by fiona apple

Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
Once my lover, and now my friend

Oh, you creep up like the clouds
And you set my soul at ease
Then you let your love abound
And you bring me to my knees

Oh, it's evil babe
The way you let your grace enrapture me
When well you know I'd be insane
To ever let that dirty game recapture me

You made me a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging around 'cause
I don't know when you're gonna make your move

Oh, your gaze is dangerous
And you fill your space so sweet
If I let you get too close
You'll set your spell on me

So darlin' I just wanna say
Just in case I don't come through
I was onto every play
I just wanted you

Oh it's so evil, my love
The way you've no reverence to my concern
So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love
To save the pain of once my flame and twice my burn

So I'm a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging around at nothin
I don't know when you're gonna make your move

Yeah I'm a shadowboxer baby,
I wanna be ready for what you do
And I been swinging around me 'cause
I don't know when you're gonna make your move

luna

i give "dan in real life" 5 stars for being an honest and lovable film. watch it. i enjoyed watching it tonight while cuddled up on my bed with my dogs taz and luna... p.s... dont tell my mom that they were on my bed.

so this week i spent more than 12 hours IN baltimore in 1 day going to class and even more commuting. it sucked

after that i spent ADDITIONAL time in orientation for my internship at Potomac Ridge (i already did 3 entire workdays this summer of orientation + time spent working on my clearance). for those that do now know... P-Ridge is a "behavioral health" hospital in Rockville, MD located right next door to the Shady Grove ER. I am interning in the Potomac Unit of the hospital which is for patients with chronic mental illness. its pretty intense.

I spent only a few hrs this week actually ON the unit, but it seems to be not too bad in my opinion. i feel like i gained a lot of experience last year in my placement at the homeless shelter, so hopefully ill do ok this year. this job may seem a bit "crazy" (no pun intended) to some people... but honestly these people are just normal people born with extraordinary circumstances. through no fault of their own they have been faced with challenges that many people cannot fathom.

while i was on my unit this week i observed a lot of things... ranging from people talking about the pope, and ronald regan, and one patient who broke out in the song "all you need is love" by the beatles.

anyways... other than that i have dealt with pretty normal stuff this week. anxiety... for starting school and my internship. fear... that i will be hurt somehow physically if i am not vigilant on my unit. excitement... that i am starting a new chapter in my life. happiness... that i also visited today with people at my previous internship. strength... that i observed with those same people how i seemed to have "come out of my shell" as a result of my previous internship. etc... and so forth.

and as you may have guessed i will now leave you with a song that will somehow embody my day... i dedicate this to my lovely dog luna, who was actually named after this song....


Luna by the smashing pumpkins
What moon songs
Do you sing your babies
What sunshine
Do you bring

Who belongs?
Who decides whos crazy?
Who rights wrongs
Where others cling

Ill sing for you If you want me to
Ill give to you
And its a chance Ill have to take
And its a chance Ill have to break

I go along
Just because Im lazy
I go along
To be with you

And those moon songs
That you sing your babies
Will be the songs
To see you thru

Ill hear your song
If you want me to
Ill sing along
And its a chance Ill have to take
And its a chance Ill have to break

Im in love with you
Im in love with you
Im in love with you

Im in love with you
So in love
Im in love with you
Im in love with you

Im in love with you So in love Im in love with you Im so in love Im in love with you

american pie

i can't really imagine that very many people were close with their bus drivers in high school, but i was. i went to school in frederick and lived in rockville (which is pretty far) and my bus driver figured out that rode the metro bus back home from the bus stop and soon started just driving me home and dropping me at my door. she and her husband actually both drove the bus and would alternate when the other couldnt do it. i got to be close with them and actually even went to their house at times for get-togethers. it seems strange now, but never then.

every now and then though we would listen to music on the bus and that is when i learned ALL of the words to this song and when my friends and i would sing along as it blared while we drove down the road. to this day i sing in my car and don't give a flying f--- who sees me, because it is one of the few things that makes me truly free in the world and makes me smile. i love being a dork and singing at the top of my lungs in any moving vehicle.

American Pie
by Don McLean

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, theyd be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper Id deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldnt take one more step.

I cant remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
Singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that youre in love with him
..cause I saw you dancin in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
And singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.

Now for ten years weve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin stone,
But thats not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
And singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
..cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
And singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devils only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satans spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
And singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where Id heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldnt play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
Singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.

They were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
Singin, thisll be the day that I die.

catch

Catch
by The Cure

Yeah I know who you remind me of
A girl I think I used to know
Yeah I'd see her when the days got colder
On those days when it felt like snow

You know I even think that she stared like you
She used to just stand there and stare
And roll her eyes right up to heaven
And make like I just wasn't there

And she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

And sometimes we would spend the night
Just rolling about on the floor
And I remember even though it felt soft at the time
I always used to wake up sore...

You know I even think that she smiled like you
She used to just stand there and smile
And her eyes would go all sort of far away
And stay like that for quite a while

And I remember she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

Yes I sometimes even tried to catch her
But never even caught her name


p.s. i love this song