mona lisas and mad hatters
by elton john
And now I know
Spanish harlem are not just pretty words to say
I thought I knew
But now I know that rose trees never grow in new york city
Until youve seen this trash can dream come true
You stand at the edge while people run you through
And I thank the lord theres people out there like you
I thank the lord theres people out there like you
While mona lisas and mad hatters
Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers
Turn around and say good morning to the night
For unless they see the sky
But they cant and that is why
They know not if its dark outside or light
This broadways got
Its got a lot of songs to sing
If I knew the tunes I might join in
Ill go my way alone
Grow my own, my own seeds shall be sown in new york city
Subways no way for a good man to go down
Rich man can ride and the hobo he can drown
And I thank the lord for the people I have found
I thank the lord for the people I have found
~~~~~
you know. i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
i think about my life. and it's chapters.
because everyone has chapters if you really think about it.
what are yours?
perhaps mine would be...
chapter 1: conception, childhood, and innocence
chapter 2: mindless activities to please the masses
chapter 3: the breakup... of my parents and my ideologies
chapter 4: the reconciliation of self
chapter 5: love... it's grand
chapter 6: loss... it rips your heart out and makes you numb
chapter 7: crying
chapter 8: NOT crying... ever
chapter 9: wow, it'd be nice to be able to have emotions again
chapter 10: TBD... (2009?)
chapters may vary by state-of-mind and availability in certain states.
you know, it's pretty ironic that i am supposed to be a "therapist" of some sort, b/c you know what i would honestly say at this point to those who want my opinion? the honest truth? therapy is... i don't even know. therapy is simply advice/guidance for how to cover up your maladaptive symptoms to appear normal in the real world. NO ONE is "normal". i think it is safe to say everyone is "fucked up" in some way. but you know what? the only time we REALLY take a chance in this world is when we let people see us for who we really are. and is that soooooo bad? so i thank the lord for the people i have found like that. and i hope i continue to find them throughout my life.
12.05.2008
when did i turn 24?
when did i turn 24?
i was just 11 not too long ago, you know.
i'm pretty sure that's the year i got my bass guitar.
that's also the year i think that my parents split, and i saw the smashing pumpkins for the first time.
you know, that's one of the ways i guage my lifetime.
that's the main way i guage my lifetime.
by music.
one winter morning at st. martin's i got my secret santa gift from kara layden.
it was "mellon collie and the infinite sadness" by the smashing pumpkins.
it had to have been 6th grade.
for my birthday that year i got tickets to go see the smashing pumpkins at US Air Arena.
i remember explicitly... my dad called me on the phone to tell me and i ran around the hall screaming excitedly.
i was just (insert age here) not too long ago, you know.
my dad took me to go see the capitals play at US Air Arena.
That was a fun time.
we went with a lady that he worked with, and her son... tripper?
tripper was afraid of the freeway.
it was not too long ago, you know, that i used to go bowling every sunday morning with my grampy.
that was probably around age 19.
i came back from lasalle and lived at home for a year while i commuted to UMD.
one morning when we were eating breakfast at the bowling alley i watched US Air Arena get demoed on the news.
i cried a little.
i thought of how beautiful it was to see all those lighters swaying in the darkness as i listened to billy corgan (or whoever) play the title track to open the show years before.
i thought of how fun it was to watch hockey with my dad.
it's gone now.
so is my grampy.
when i think of being 24 i think of only just yesterday being 17.
that was when i first fell in love.
that was the only time i think i've ever been IN love.
"just like heaven" was our song.
we actually had MULTIPLE songs.
i think that's what's it for me... if i have a song with someone.
we had a band, too.
third eye blind.
it seems too ironic.
chris died at age 24.
in a car crash.
and now i am 24.
sometimes i get hung up on where i am and where i am going.
i used to make tables when i was a kid.
i also liked to sketch... once i drew the fish from the cat and the hat and it looked JUST LIKE the fish in the book.
i used to write poetry.... EVERY DAY.
the last poem i wrote was for chris.
does that mean something?
when did i turn 24?
and what does this mean?
why is it that i care so much now about how my hair looks?
i never cared too much before.
i care about a lot of stupid shit now that i have never cared about before.
i can't decide if that is good or bad.
what do you think?
i was just 11 not too long ago, you know.
i'm pretty sure that's the year i got my bass guitar.
that's also the year i think that my parents split, and i saw the smashing pumpkins for the first time.
you know, that's one of the ways i guage my lifetime.
that's the main way i guage my lifetime.
by music.
one winter morning at st. martin's i got my secret santa gift from kara layden.
it was "mellon collie and the infinite sadness" by the smashing pumpkins.
it had to have been 6th grade.
for my birthday that year i got tickets to go see the smashing pumpkins at US Air Arena.
i remember explicitly... my dad called me on the phone to tell me and i ran around the hall screaming excitedly.
i was just (insert age here) not too long ago, you know.
my dad took me to go see the capitals play at US Air Arena.
That was a fun time.
we went with a lady that he worked with, and her son... tripper?
tripper was afraid of the freeway.
it was not too long ago, you know, that i used to go bowling every sunday morning with my grampy.
that was probably around age 19.
i came back from lasalle and lived at home for a year while i commuted to UMD.
one morning when we were eating breakfast at the bowling alley i watched US Air Arena get demoed on the news.
i cried a little.
i thought of how beautiful it was to see all those lighters swaying in the darkness as i listened to billy corgan (or whoever) play the title track to open the show years before.
i thought of how fun it was to watch hockey with my dad.
it's gone now.
so is my grampy.
when i think of being 24 i think of only just yesterday being 17.
that was when i first fell in love.
that was the only time i think i've ever been IN love.
"just like heaven" was our song.
we actually had MULTIPLE songs.
i think that's what's it for me... if i have a song with someone.
we had a band, too.
third eye blind.
it seems too ironic.
chris died at age 24.
in a car crash.
and now i am 24.
sometimes i get hung up on where i am and where i am going.
i used to make tables when i was a kid.
i also liked to sketch... once i drew the fish from the cat and the hat and it looked JUST LIKE the fish in the book.
i used to write poetry.... EVERY DAY.
the last poem i wrote was for chris.
does that mean something?
when did i turn 24?
and what does this mean?
why is it that i care so much now about how my hair looks?
i never cared too much before.
i care about a lot of stupid shit now that i have never cared about before.
i can't decide if that is good or bad.
what do you think?
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